The Choice to Connect

All was well—until a message came back that I didn’t expect.

A friend responded in a way that surprised me, and instantly I felt deflated. I faced an uncomfortable dilemma: Do I confront them? Do I let it go? My thoughts spiraled. I questioned if I had misjudged them or if this person was really who I thought they were.

I realized one thing: my feelings were hurt. And almost immediately, I made an inner vow to disconnect, pulling back from a relationship I had once trusted.

I called my husband to vent. His suggestion stopped me in my tracks: “Why don’t you call them and clarify what they meant?”

It made perfect sense—and yet, fear held me back. What if their intent wasn’t what I hoped? What if I shared my feelings and faced rejection?

Sound familiar? Maybe it’s a coworker’s tone that feels off, a spouse who doesn’t say goodbye like usual, a text left unread, or an email ignored. In moments of uncertainty, our minds fill in the gaps—and often, our stories end in tragedy. Why? Because we fear—rejection, criticism, relational unrest.

A few years ago, my mentor Chris encouraged me: “If you’re going to make up a story… make it a good one.”

What would it look like to choose a positive story in uncertain situations and then follow up with genuine questions, rather than assume the worst or walk away?

Our ability to connect with others determines the quality of our lives. Consider the behaviors that either build or break connection:

I in fact worked up the courage to call my friend and share my interpretation, asking them to clarify what they meant. Indeed, it was a total misunderstanding—the way I read the message was nothing like how she intended.

The result? Our friendship deepened. We learned more about each other, and deeper levels of trust were built.

Learning to navigate conflict well is a skill—but we only improve it the more we practice. Not every conversation may end the way you hope, but keep trying, because relationships are worth the effort.

Take a moment today: are your actions connecting or disconnecting you from those around you? Choosing not to engage is indeed choosing to disconnect.

In a world that so easily cancels, choose to connect first.